Listen For The Quiet

With the holiday seasons upon us, many of us are busy making plans on how to celebrate the coming Christmas and New Year.

There will be many presents to buy, parties to plan and invitations to send.

There will also be the worries of how much money we can afford to splurge during these holidays. And of course, you are also faced with the various challenges of shopping for presents in the crowded malls.

It is at these times that we feel very stressed - stressed with the lack of time, the crowds everywhere, the difficulties finding a parking space.

And also wondering how to maintain the holiday cheers amidst being frazzled with all that needs to be done.

There are unspoken expectations to fulfill - from your spouse, from your children and from your family; expectations that everything will be perfect - the perfect present, the perfect party, the perfect good cheer.

When you are stressed and tense, go somewhere to find 30 seconds of quietness. Spend the time to gather your thoughts and calm yourself.

Let calm thoughts permeate through your mind. Picture calm scenes that you have previously encountered, perhaps a favorite holiday.

Listen for silence in the midst of all the Christmas carols.

Listen for the quiet that you find in unexpected places.

And find your sanity in all these madness.

Awaken to the beauty that money cannot buy in the shopping malls...

Oneness

These days, with the inevitable decline in fertility, with families growing smaller and moving away from where they are born, many people are increasingly finding that they are spending more time alone.

With more people facing stress in their daily lives, making a living and finding that they do not have enough time to squeeze in all the things that they have to do, we find that we sacrifice the spending of time with our families, friends and other people.

And many people suffer from depression as they no longer have the support of their tribes to help them in terms of need.

A sense of loneliness can engulf you if you are not resilient enough.

However, being alone is not a bad thing.

There is a great difference between being alone and being lonely.

You can choose to be alone and still be happy.

With more time by yourself, you can indulge in your passions. Listen to music whenever you want, read a book all night, invest in the many dreams that you had when you were young - dreams that you have postponed because you have no time.

Nourish your spirituality. Find what brings you peace of mind. The Buddhist believe that the resting place of the mind is in the silence of the heart.

Feed your soul by surrounding yourself with an atmosphere of appreciation of all that is good with your life. Your eyes must see beauty. Turn away from ugliness - people who behave badly, fashion victims who have no sense of style and places of decay and deterioration.

Connect with the people whom you come across. Have a kind word or a smile for the many people that you come across everyday. It is through these connections that you thrive in a village.

Most important of all, love yourself and treat yourself with kindness, respect, understanding and patience. Get to know yourself - what you enjoy, what drives you and what brings you immense pleasures.

Be one with silence - in the nothingness is where everything exists...

Be still... and awaken

Self and No-Self

As recorded in the Ananda Sutta, a wanderer called Vacchagotta once asked the Buddha if there is a self, to which the Buddha remained silent.

Next, he asked if there is no self, to which the Buddha also remained silent.

Upon his departure, the Buddha's attendant disciple Ananda asked why didn't he answer either questions.

The Buddha replied that if he were to say there is a self, that would conform to eternalism, which is the mistaken view that there is an eternal unchanging soul.

If he were to say there is no self, that would conform to annihilationism, which is the mistaken view that with death is the annihilation of consciousness.

And if he were to say there is a self, that would not be aligned with the realisation that all phenomena (mind and matter) are not-self.

And if he were to say there is no self, the bewildered Vacchagotta would have become more bewildered as to whether the self he used to have does not exist now.

Eternalism proposes that there is a part of our being that does not change from life to life. This the Buddha clearly did not endorse, as he had analysed our being into the five aggregates (form, feeling, perception, mental formations and consciousnesses) in the Anattalakkhana Sutta - all of which are fluxing and dissatisfactory, thus unsuited to be a substantial self.

Annihilationism proposes that there is no part of our being (aggregates) that remains from life to life. This the Buddha also did not endorse, because the aggregates do exist - in terms of change. That is to say, though our forms, feelings, perceptions, mental formations and consciousnesses are not fixed from one moment to another, they exist in the moment.

In this sense, there is ultimately no fixed self (Anatta) to speak of, while conventionally speaking, there is a self that we need to relate to practically; albeit not cling to, since it changes.

The Buddha taught a subtle 'Middle Way' truth between the erroneous extremes of eternalism and annihilationism, as based upon the truth of impermanence (Anicca).

Though we have body and mind (conventional self), we have no fixed body and mind; we are ultimately not-self.

As such, the questions of whether there is a self or not could not be answered simplistically.

Perhaps the Buddha didn't explain the above to Vacchagotta because he was too attached to wanting yes or no answers despite the complexity of the truth.

As such, even if the Buddha elaborated on the meaning of his silence to him, it wouldn't be useful - which is why silence became the best answer - for him to contemplate its intention.

Vacchagotta was probably not sharp enough to discern and reconcile differences between the relative truth of a conventional self and the absolute truth of ultimate non-self.

Are you like Vacchagotta too? - Shen Shi'an


Right speech includes appropriate silence; not just appropriate words.

- Stonepeace

Wisdom In The Silence

We may think that we need to be surrounded by distractions, activities and noise to be truly alive.

But are you really HERE when you are in that kind of environment? Can you really think and contemplate the essences of life when you are surrounded with all these "busy-ness"? We delude ourselves by thinking that these thoughts and the inner commentary in our minds show that we know the world and we are therefore alive.

It is only when you are able to quiet down your mind that you realize that in the silence is where the true wisdom will arise.

If you seek the Truth, you should value the silence and be aware of the magnificence of the reality of NOW.

So, be silent... be still. And know the inner beauty that arises with the true wisdom in the silence.